Massage Chair Tragedy
a sad story about massage chairs and more
Massage chair dealers are strange people, that's what I found out when I went to pick up a truckload of massage chairs three weeks ago. I was making a little extra cash to drive three massage chairs from LA to Santa Barbara. The guy had sold the massage chairs through the internet, and now he just needed a way to get them to his customer. He spent about an hour obsessing over my truck, worried that I wouldn't be able to fit the third massage chair, but eventually we tied it down. It seemed fine to me. Now, I'm not normally in the habit of making massage chair deliveries. I'm a student most of the time, but there's not much money in learning stuff, so a mutual friend introduced us. Now you can call me Captain Massage Chair.
Massage chairs are heavy, that's the next thing I found out. They're very heavy. In fact, massage chairs are far too heavy to be safely tied down with the twine I found under my back seat. I discovered that about half way to Santa Barbara, when one of my $5,000 dollar massage chairs flew off the back of my truck and skidded into the guard rail, basically disintegrating when it hit. needless to say, I wasn't very happy. Here I am by the side of the road, 100 miles south of Santa Barbara, with the parts of what could be a hundred massage chairs spread all across the road. Luckily no one was hit when it fell off the back. I bet cars don't do well when they collide at 60 miles per hour with speeding massage chairs.
Massage chair pieces were all over the place, and most of them I couldn't recognize. I did my best gather up the dead premier massage chair remains, but it seemed a little pointless. I didn't know what else to do, so I kept driving toward Santa Barbara. Now that I was aware how heavy a massage chair is, i tied the things down a little better. I had lost one massage chair, but I didn't need to lose any more. About 15 minutes outside of Santa Barbara, i got pulled over. I thought i was speeding, but when the cop came to my window, he asked me if there had been another massage chair in my truck I said yes, and he said "Come with me boy." Littering. I was arrested for the unlawful littering of a massage chair, and they confiscated the other two in my truck.Trust me, if you ever need a few extra bucks, don't go carting massage chairs around. It just isn't worth it.
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